adventures of a mere mortal in fitness and life

Posts tagged ‘bikini’

a cookie for your thoughts

It’s back to school time already in the valley, and I happen to have a little girl who is headed off to kindergarten this year.  She’s pretty excited.  Last week we took Grandma and Grandpa to buy school supplies and a new backpack.  Those of you who know my cutie patootie will not be surprised by her choice:

By the way, when she asks me characters’ names in Star Wars, I just make them up.

Being a former school teacher, one might suppose I have a lock on this get ready for kindergarten thing.  But you would be wrong.  A conversation with me might go like this:

You: Who does your child have for kindergarten this year?
Me: I don’t know.
You: What time does school start?  Me: I don’t know.
You: What are you going to do on Mondays with your child while you are working?
Me: I don’t know.

Very productive conversation, indeed.  I am listening to other people spit out full background checks of their kids’ teachers and I can barely manage to figure out if “antibacterial wipes” on the supply list means the ones kids use on their hands or the ones for the desk on which some kid just wiped his boogery hand.  Which leads me to one conclusion: I am avoiding this situation.

I have been looking forward to the arrival of school for my kiddos for a while now.  But my behavior is not consistent with this supposed feeling.  And I am very familiar with this problem because I have been doing the same thing with food lately.  I know, I know…you’re saying, “But you just updated your food page and it sounded so…militaristic.”  Yes, I know.  I thought that updating it would get me motivated, but it didn’t do too much.  Or, I will start the day all serious and by the end of the day I have worked my mind around some kind of feast I need to consume because of “all that training” I have been doing.

Just a little something for dinner.

The result?  The scale stays the same or ticks up 1 or 2 pounds.

I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around eating the right mix of things to get both desired calories and energy levels.  When I was primarily trying to lose weight, my calories were so limited that I didn’t have any wiggle room for ANY “extra” food.  Today, I was sitting at lunch thinking, “Do I have enough calories for that peanut butter and jelly sandwich?”  Okay, it was really a cookie, but you get the idea. (Note: See what sugar does?  Destroyed my self-control for the rest of the day.  This is not an excuse- I am just pointing out a fact.)

I mean, it’s exhausting – physically and mentally to be so vigilant at times.  If I go hard-core and don’t consume enough calories, I bonk- if not that day, then the next.  If I consume too much, the scale ticks onward and upward.  If I change my typical foods that I consume, it tends to throw me off eating-wise and energy-wise.

So, I am looking for advice.  For a while now, my weight has hovered around the same place, which I am not terribly upset with since it’s August and I have given up my summer bikini wearing dreams.  But it would be nice to be able to get to a place where I am not fighting so hard to stay the same, or even if I could figure out how to drop 1-2 pounds a month, since I do dare to dream of bikini-wearing days in the future.  So if you have been there or can provide any more tips, I would completely appreciate it!


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