Mr. Prepared declared last week…Halloween week…to be THE week to cleanse. Logical, isn’t it? It’s like deciding to stop drinking while you’re visiting your in-laws for the holidays. Love that guy.
Mr. Prepared never does anything the way it SHOULD be done anyways, so I should expect anything different. You know, most people when they start running, they do a couple of 5ks, maybe a 10k, half-marathon, etc. There’s natural progression. Not Mr. Prepared. He just rolls straight into ultramarathon. OK, I take it back. He did one 25k first. But after that? 50 miles, 50k (he claims this is too short), 100 miles, 100k, it’s just gotta be F’in far. That’s been the real challenge here in the Midwest, finding stuff that’s gonna be far enough. I have a Pinterest board on it though, so we are getting all set up realllll goood.
So anyways, last month we did the whole no alcohol thing for a few weeks, a little liver cleanse. Worked out really well, we should have kept going, but we didn’t and we just. need. to. move. on. But oh, no. Mr. Prepared has a couple of beers and one night of bad Chinese food and we are officially CLEANSING. Five minutes later, he’s on Google and asking me if mesquite is really the superfood that 2 yahoos in a Youtube video are trying to convince him it is. Until about 5 years ago, I thought mesquite was a just a flavor you could add to BBQ sauce and Duraflame logs, so um…yah? Go for it?
He implodes on his Google search about 15 minutes later, and I steer the ship toward a very doable sounding 48 hour cleanse. I bought a juicer for it, even. Well, I had a coupon and it was on clearance, so it came in pretty cheap and I had visions of making all these yummy (but NUTRITIOUS!) juices for our family- I still hold on to that vision!- so I bought it.
Cleanse begins, and the juicer is a hit. Then I tell him he needs to prepare all his food to go to work. And to make some tea because there is no coffee on a cleanse. The creases in his brow get deeper. I take the kids to school and he sets himself up, and me too, because he is a really nice guy despite the bad rap he gets sometimes from me. Everything is going fine for me until about 3 PM, when I am trying to throw a bunch of vegetables together to make a stock which is supposed to be our dinner. And I think, I don’t want to eat veggie stock for dinner. I want what I am making the kids. And while I am at it, I’ll have some Pirate Booty. And thus, the cleanse was done for me. Not even 12 hours. I know.
Long story short, he eats the veggie broth, but he is casting furtive glances at our food. He goes to bed and moans about how hungry he is and how terrible his run after work was until he falls asleep. Wakes up, still hungry, a little grumpy, and then…I throw him under the bus.
Me: I do have a little time today for lunch if you want to meet…O wait! You’re cleansing! Forget it.
It took him about 4 milliseconds to tell me he was done with the stupid cleanse and that he would meet me at 11:30.
But now that Halloween has passed, I think we might have to give it another try. I think we can make it at least 36 hours this time. 😉